Hosting parties

It’s important to set rules that you and your teen are both happy with when letting your teen host a party. Keep the invites as low and closely associated as possible as text messaging now allows for word to get around very quickly.

Things like who is coming, how many, what time with the party end, how will you deal with gatecrashers, will guests stay overnight are all things you should think about before saying yes.

Never go out and leave your teen and party-goers at home alone. Visible but non-intrusive adult supervision is critical – maybe pop in occasionally with snacks.

Have guests enter through the ‘non-party’ part of the house so you can discreetly monitor who is coming in and what they are bringing with them.

Let the neighbours know and invite them, or other adults round to help out.

Exercise ‘good host responsibility’ if you are permitting alcohol. Have plenty of filling foods and non-alcoholic drinks.

Don’t forget to organise transport or places for people to sleep over.

Call the police if someone is ‘out of control’. It is their job to manage this sort of behaviour.

Attending parties

Sit down and agree to some conditions.

Contact the host’s parents and check on details such as supervision, time and location, plus arrangements regarding alcohol and transport.

Be open about why you are asking – you’re not doing it to be nosy, but because you care.

Let your teen know that if things get out of control at the party, wou will always arrange for them to get home safely. Talk about things that might happen – perhaps there is violence or drugs at the party or they feel threatened or frightened. It’s important that they have a plan to get out of the situation without feeling embarrassed for leaving the party early. 

Tell them they can phone you and you will pick them up anytime.

Give them emergency money in case they need a taxi home.

Some suggestions

Tell them they can phone you and will pick them up.

Either give them or have at home some emergency money in case they need a taxi home.

Prepaid taxi chits are available from most taxi companies.

As a backup or if their friends need assistance, ask your teens to have the numbers of their friends’ parent(s) programmed into their cell phones.

Parents could form a ‘support group’.
(Example, a parent of a 15 year-old boy who has three mates he’s known since primary school. The mums all know each other and they collaborate when the boys are going to a party. They call each other, check on who is throwing the party, one contacts the parent in question and they share drop-off and pick-up. Sometimes the pick-up parent hosts the boys overnight.)