Depression
We all feel sad from time to time, but for some teenagers the feeling does not go away
Teenagers who feel low most of the time may have an illness called depression. Feeling depressed or ‘down’ is common and can be a normal reaction to the stress of teenagers’ everyday lives.
Depression can be serious and will affect about one in six New Zealanders at some time in their lives. It is most common in 16 – 24 year olds, but it can happen at any age.
Different things seem to trigger depression in different people. Sometimes it happens for no clear reason. Some things that increase the risk of depression are family history of depression, stressful life events such as illness, a death or break up of a relationship, changes in school, or home. Sometimes there is no apparent trigger.
Family (Whanau) are often the first ones to recognise that their teenager has depression.
The key signs of depression are:
- Feeling down, depressed or hopeless
- Lost interest or enjoyment in most activities they used to enjoy
- Marked change in behaviour or character
- Appearing unhappy, tearful, down in the dumps.
- A decrease in grades at school.
- Talking of sadness or emptiness.
- Changes in appetite.
- Sleep problems.
- Low self esteem.
- Problems with concentration.
- Lack of energy.
- Tiredness.
- Feelings of loneliness.
- Irritability.
How can I help my teenager with depression?
Here are a few simple guidelines provided by people who have experienced severe depression.
do’s
Do listen to me and patiently encourage me to talk or cry.
Do accept my feelings as I experience them, not as you imagine they are.
Do show me that you love me – not with too many words, but by warmth and companionship.
Do work with me as I make little changes.
Do help me to separate feelings from facts and to check them out.
Do maintain your own hope, optimism and calm, without becoming entangled in my negativity or mocking me with too much cheerfulness.
Do reassure me that this darkness will pass in time – I need to know that. Although I am so hard to convince, do try to affirm my strengths and the qualities you value in me. I may find it hard to believe in the things you say, but they keep hope alive.
Do reassure me that I’m not going mad because that fear is sometimes with me.
dont’s
Don’t tell me to pull myself together – I would if I could.
Don’t tell me to count my blessings. I know they are there but I can’t feel them as real.
Don’t give me lots of advice I haven’t the energy to follow – I already feel hopelessly inadequate.
Don’t preach – I’m already overwhelmed by guilt.
Don’t give up on me – I’m so near to giving up on myself.
Don’t judge me – you are not in my skin.
Other things to be mindful of:
Seek help with your teenager. If necessary, go with them to appointments. There are a number of support agencies that can help.
Learn about depression, how it is treated and what you can do to help recovery. More information can be found on www.depression.org.nz or you can phone the depression helpline on 0800 111 757.
See yourself as part of your teenager’s support team
Encourage your teenager to be more active, but without pushing or criticizing them, as this may make things worse.
Your teenager may need you to help them plan their day.
Help provide your teenager with a good balanced diet.
Help and encourage them to lead a healthy life, to exercise and have fun.
Try not to see your teenager as being difficult. Understand the symptoms for what they are.
Help your teenager to recognise stress and find ways of coping. These may include helping to solve problems that worry them.
Don’t be embarrassed to praise them.
Find out about various complementary and alternative medicines that people use for depression, i.e. massage and food supplements.
Encourage them to keep up with their treatment and to avoid alcohol and drug use.
Take any thoughts of suicide seriously – it’s important to talk about it with someone who can help. Don’t leave someone alone if they feel unsafe. Contact a health care provider, your local mental health services crisis team or a crisis phone line.
It can be very hard to see your teenager struggle with depression. As a parent you may feel hurt, isolated, ashamed, guilty or stressed out. It is important you recognize this and get support for yourself and your teenager. Talk with someone who can help, or contact a local support agency.
If you think that your teenager has depression, take it seriously and support them in seeking help.
Crisis Line 577 6425
YouthLine 0800 37 66 33
Lifeline 0800 543 354
Relationship Services 07 576 2825 or 0800 RELATE or visit www.relationships.org.nz
Depression Helpline 0800 111 757
Western Bay of Plenty Mental Health Trust (Family Support) 07 577 1457
School Guidance Counsellor
Your GP and ask for a referral to Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services (CAMHS)
Your Hauora Youth Mental Health Worker
Websites
www.urge.org.nz (For Youth)
